29 June 2011

Plotting a Space Jam Remake

Arguably the greatest film in the history of cinema, Space Jam was not like any other sports movie ever seen. Never before had a basketball film stretched the limits of the imagination, as well as logic. But how would Space Jam look if it were remade in 2011? Here's my plot for the new, and probably not improved, Space Jam.

Ever since leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers after the 2009-10 NBA season for the Miami Heat, LeBron James has been disliked by nearly everybody outside of South Florida. And James has been personally struggling with how to deal with the mass contempt he has received so he decides to retire despite being at the start of his prime.

Meanwhile, the evil Mister Swackhammer is looking for sources of entertainment for his theme park and he sends his underlings, the "Nerdlucks" to capture the Looney Toons. The Looney Toons, in a desperate attempt to retain their freedom, challenge the Nerdlucks to a basketball game.

The Nerdlucks are in it to win it, so they steal the talents of Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing, Larry Johnson and Muggsy Bogues, as well as the uselessness of Shawn Bradley. The Toons respond by recruiting James and his assistant, Stan Podolak, to their squad.

What ensues is perhaps the greatest game in the history of life.

The Looney Toons

LeBron James
Portrayed in original by Michael Jordan (as himself)
Portrayed in remake by LeBron James (as himself)

Stan Podolak
Portrayed in original by Wayne Knight
Portrayed in remake by Jon Lovitz

Mister Swackhammer
Voiced in original by Danny DeVito
Voiced in remake by Danny DeVito

Portrayed in original by Charles Barkley
Portrayed in remake by Zach Randolph

Portrayed in original by Patrick Ewing
Portrayed in remake by Dwight Howard

Portrayed in original by Larry Johnson
Portrayed in remake by Glen "Big Baby" Davis

Portrayed in original by Muggsy Bogues
Portrayed in remake by Nate Robinson

Portrayed in original by Shawn Bradley
Portrayed in remake by Darko Milicic

Bill Murray
Portrayed in original by Bill Murray
Portrayed in remake by Bill Murray


  1. Space Jam was an awesome movie!...let's not ruin it by putting Lebron James in it.

  2. That make the leading role kobe

  3. If anyone should be in a Space Jam remake, it should be LeBron not a ball hog that cant share, none of the Toons would get the ball if it was Kobe, so the film would be the Kobe Show not space Jam